We Need Gay Friends

On the way to the airport, Lane, age 4, said, "Mommy, boys and girls get married." To which I automatically replied, "In some states, girls can marry girls and boys can marry boys too."

She was silent a few minutes.
Then she asked, "why would girl marry girls and boys marry boys?" I said people marry who they love. She was perplexed and said, "but then they can't make a baby." I explained that is true but couples can adopt and there are other ways to have babies what we'll talk about that when she's older.
That's when I realized we are surrounded by mom/dad/kid families. There are step children and adopted children but we don't have any gay friends who we hang out with regularly. I guess we really are in a "bubble".
Our experiences in Iowa held much more diversity and culture than we have now, except when we go to Disney. It is rather surprising to think that we lived in the middle of the United States, in corn field country and we attended Black History events and multi-cutlural events at the boys school. In reality, we were a minority in the school. When I attended the PTO meeting, they usually had in Spanish and had to translate for me as I sat there.
We might need to seek out families different than us. I don't want the kids to grow up thinking that our family is the only "right" family. I doubt that will happen given the way we parent but if they aren't exposed to things, it can seem wrong to children. Even if we attend gay days or a gay pride parade, they can be exposed to different family structures.
Any gay couples want to hang out with us?

Flat Lane

Lane decided the two of us should make a project together. We traced her hands, her feet, her arms, her legs, her belly, and even her face. The face is a narrow oval due to the way we traced her little face. 

We cut out the pieces and turned the paper into a doll.  We added eyes and a mouth but she didn't want a nose. 

When we got in the van, Lane insisted that the paper doll be strapped in the van.  My aunt called Lane's creation, "Flat Lane" but Lane didn't like that name. 

Instead... Meet Paper Lane! She is Lane's sister and I had to feed her when we went to lunch at a restaurant. 

Little Man Turns 7

I think I missed a couple years because it doesn't seem possible that Alexander was born seven years ago. How can that be possible? It was seven years ago today that the doctor came in the hospital room and told me that he was going to take me out of my misery. It was time for a Csection 

I knew our baby would be fine at 36 weeks but he was still considered premature.  I was concerned that he would be rushed to the NICU and the staff was prepared for that scenario. He surprised everyone with few complications and my doctor declared him the healthiest preemie ever.  The dr also told me that my pregnancy was one for the ages and I would never experience that again. He was only slightly correct on that one - the following pregnancy was worse. 

Here we are seven years later and he is an incredible child. He excels at math and loves games, especially chess. Alex loves jokes and to make people laugh.  He loves to dance, ride his scooter, and play at the park.  He is full of energy and life.  He is also stubborn and capable of arguing that water can't freeze. 

Lane made a special gift for Alex. I didn't give any suggestions, she pulled out everything on her own.  She put a drawing in an envelope and sealed it with a sticker.  Then she pulled out the foil because she didn't have wrapping paper.   She wrapped the envelope and asked me to tie ribbon around it. 

Later Lane asked where she could hide her gift.  Today she walked to my closer and proudly gave her creation to Alex.  She also had "toys she doesn't play with"  and candy from the closet in a box for him. I thought I was going to melt with pride when I saw her generosity. 

I quickly explained to Alex that he needed to be kind to his sister because she worked so hard for him. He quietly asked "but what do I do if I don't like it."   "Fake it" I replied. 

I was just as proud of Alex.  He made a huge ordeal out of his surprise from Lane and made her feel very special. It was a heartwarming moment between two if my children. 

I don't like how quickly my children are growing but I enjoy these interactions between my kids.  These moments could only come from their growth and development. 

Watch out world - there's a lot more coming for you.  Here he is - the seven year old version of Alexander! 

Clean Smiles!

I have been a bad mommy when it comes to dental appointments. I haven't taken the kids to the dentist since we moved two years ago.  I'm ashamed to admit that I let the appointments go so long and I will admit that it was the anxiety of finding a decent pediatric dentist along with my children's reactions that made it easy for me to overlook these dental visits.  If you knew me a couple years ago, you might be surprised I missed an appointment let alone three.  

I looked up a pediatric dentist who was covered by our insurance and found a place in Melbourne, just over 30 minutes from our house. The photo of the building looked cheerful and the person on the phone was pleasant. I was even able to get all three kids in at the same time and on the same day! I did not want to take them alone but Andrew has to work so off I went...

Lane was nervous about the appointment and Gabriel wasn't speaking clearly and hasn't since his EEG appointment.  His anxiety has thrown him for a monster loop.  Alex, well, he was engrossed in his chess game. 

We arrived and everyone was friendly and welcoming. Their waiting area had games and that impressed Alex.  They called our names minutes after we arrived and gave us a little tour. 

The boys picked out a toothbrush and a toothpaste flavor. They laid down and put on head phones while watching the cartoon of their choice.  I was in awe.  Gabriel calmed down and actually had a conversation, which is much better than his constant questions that come with his anxiety in new situations. 

Lane got to brush Nemo and Nemo's moms teeth.  

She took her job very seriously. 

Alex did great at his exam. He didn't like the flavored toothpaste at all though and needed it changed to something bland 

Gabriel was a trooper.  I was so proud of him! 

Lane did fine for her first dental visit. I forgot about her sensory issues and how easily she gags   Poor little girl had a tough time and started crying because she was gagging from the dental tools. She made it through, mostly because the staff and dentist were so patient and kind. They counted her princess teeth to make sure she is a princess. The dentist gave her two princess stickers and Lane was over the moon happy because "she never got two stickers from a doctor before."  

Appointments are set for February.   The best news? No cavities! 

EEG

A new journey with Gabriel began last October. He was suspended from school three times.  His behavior warranted the suspensions if he wasn't an atypical child. Even the school staff told me that the suspensions weren't appropriate for him because he was only acting out due  to anxiety/autism.  

I didn't matter what they said though because he sat at home with me for several days. The problem is that unlike a typical child, Gabriel won't understand to stop the behavior simply based on a suspension at school. It wouldn't matter if he sat in his room all day or went to the circus.  He wouldn't change his behavior because he wasn't at school.  Instead, he lost out on vital learning time and his anxiety grew. He couldn't transition well and it is the schools responsibility to figure why he is acting out and how to fix it.  The school failed to follow through and we ended up with a half day school situation. 

I made medical appointments to rule out anything causing his outbursts.  It took months to get into the child development center.  It was at this point that we learned about medication to lessen his outbursts and Gabriel was diagnosed with ADHD. We were referred to ABA (that hasn't started yet) and we got a referral to have an EEG completed in order to rule out seizure activity 

I have called for the EEG since January. I finally heard from Nemours yesterday regarding a neurologist and EEG appointment.  The scheduling person apologized for all of the problems but she set up the appointment immediately. 

I decided to allow Nemours to win me over. It's a brand new children's hospital 32 minutes from our home. That's if you know where you are going, which I did not today so it took longer to get there. 

I arrived and found out that Gabriel wasn't scheduled for an EEG.  ~sigh~ 

Nemours won me over. The neurologist made sure we got the EEG done and the staff was wonderful and full of patience. 

If I could only say that the EEG was as easy would be nice. Instead, Gabriel screamed, cried, and hit me.  He made himself vomit several times. 

I was surprised that even the Despicable Movie didn't distract him.  Another staff person took Lane and Alex out of the room because the tech thought they looked scared. Alex was mostly upset that he didn't get to do the EEG. 

Gabriel thought the wires were needles that the tech was going to stick into his head. We showed him the probes.  We took our time. We even tried to show him the process of the probes on Alex. It didn't matter. 

Shortly after the EEG was complete, Gabriel met Shamu.  If only Shamu had arrived 40 minutes earlier, it would have been a great distraction. He hugged Shamu and told him that he loved him. He also stared down Shamu's mouth and declared that a person was in there. 

Christmas 2012

I failed to write about our Christmas.  Since I wrote about our Christmas in July ornaments, I thought it would be a good time to look back at our holiday. It won't be long before the holidays approach again and three children will be a year older. 

Lane still loves her babies. She has been known to carry around triplets because she can't chose just one baby. Here she is in her new Snow White costume with a baby who had to be strapped in with her.  She wanted the baby to be safe on the way to our meal in Cocoa Beach. 

The kids made cards for their teachers. They made trees with green thumbprints.  I added a gift card to the card and a little snowman ornament that said "best teacher".  We also added glitter to look like shiny lights. 

The kids helped make reindeer nose treats for their classmates. 

We also assembled snowman soup to hand out to teachers and staff. It consisted of hot cocoa, marshmallows, chocolate, and a candy cane. I found free printables online. 

Here is the stash ready to go to the two schools 

Alex had a pajama day at school. I love how happy he is about the change in clothing 

Then there was our tree. It isn't anything fancy but I liked it a lot. I also like that we continue to get an ornament for every year we are married and they are placed on our tree by our children. 

The weather is perfect here for the playground during winter break. It was even a little warm this year. We will see what the holidays bring us in a mere five months.  

Christmas in July

The kids went to a Christmas in July craft event in our community. Seriously great - they provide the materials for free and clean up afterward.  I wish Alex hadn't complained about going but he seemed to have fun once I got him in the door.  It helped that I didn't allow a game player 

Alex insisted on mixing tons of colors and ended up with a very colorful ornament. 

Lane wanted to add a glittery smiley face to her painted ornament.  She was very particular about adding a forehead and curly red hair. 

I wonder why they have been talking about Santa this week?!!