Are You Gabriel's Mother?

According to Autism Speaks, (http://www.autismspeaks.org/family-services/autism-safety-project/abuse) children with disabilities are twice as likely as neurotypical children to be abused physically or sexually. I read numerous reports about these children. Today, I read about parents in Anahheim, accused of keeping their 11 year old son with autism in a dog crate. (www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=newssearch&cd=1&ved=0CB4QqQIoADAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fktla.com%2F2014%2F07%2F02%2Fparents-arrested-after-11-year-old-autistic-boy-found-living-in-cage-anaheim-police%2F&ei=vrO1U7LIJKqlsQSi4IDwCw&usg=AFQjCNEWo9KVewqPyjPMnsR317tg-Oy7Bw&sig2=EKI4pvmREpsJWpZN8A-KWw)
Gabriel is only a year and a half younger than this child. I am sick to my stomach. How could someone even consider a dog crate as an acceptable means of controlling a child? How can that thought even cross an adult's mind? It is my deepest hope that the child can recovery from such deplorable actions.
A couple weeks before the school year was complete, two officers knocked on my door in the morning. My house was messy and I was tired. I had to answer my door without a bra on and for some reason, this is an awful situation for me.
My mind raced. Did Alex and Andrew make it to school and work okay? Did something awful happen? Are we being arrested for something I was completely unaware of? My heart was beating out of my chest and I even thought about hiding in my bedroom. However, I knew that hiding wouldn't make these officers or the situation go away.
I opened the door. My hand was shaking. I glanced around the entryway and noted an old crib mattress to the side of the door. The day before, I brought it down to throw away and Gabriel had stripped the cloth off it to turn the coils into a fun play thing to jump on. It made everything look trashy. (great)
The conversation went something like this: "do you know Gabriel?" "yes, I'm his mother, why? " "We need to discuss something with you." Gabriel and Lane run to the door, smiling and laughing. They wave sweetly to the officers and say, "hi!"
They had to discuss a report that was filed at the school by an adult. Gabriel made sexual gestures and remarks that were not appropriate for a child his age. If you know Gabriel, he doesn't have a clue about sexual terms or sexuality. He's a very naive boy and I'm fine with that at age 9.
I think I argued with with officers and told them that was disgusting and how dare someone accuse my child of something like that. Trust me, my children are not angels but I also know what my children are capable of doing and sexual activities aren't one of them. The officers explained that they would file the report, investigators would be at my home, and they would follow up to find out who was sexually abusing my child.
There it is... the tip of my emotional ice berg that is shattering. My husband and I spent hours figuring out our rights should we be accused of something horrible. I was sick to my stomach and could barely function thinking about someone hurting my child. The school is the safe zone for children. Did someone think Andrew or I hurt Gabriel? This is his other safe zone. I called the doctor and asked what we should do for him. I confided in a few friends. I cried. (a lot)
Later in the afternoon, the doorbell rang again. "What now?!" I thought. A DCF investigator stood at my door. She spent over three hours interviewing me, looking around at my home, and playing with my children. It was awkward, at best.
It wasn't until she had been here for two hours that she told me that my husband and I were not suspects. No one thought we did anything inappropriate. I could breathe a little bit after those two hours with her.
Sadly, I haven't really considered sexual abuse against my sons. I think about what could happen to our daughter. Statistics show that boys also experience some form of sexual abuse. I would guess I'm not the only person with this misconception.

(from the National Child Traumatic Stress Network)

An investigator with the sheriff's office also interviewed all of us, including Gabriel, a week later. I asked for the extensive notes and behavior reports from the school. I had copies but never saw anything of concern in the paperwork. Nothing existed that indicated any sexual behavior happened at the school.
I am glad that I didn't know who reported the incident at the school, though I have my suspicions. I am also glad that I didn't know who was alleged accused either. I do not know how I would have reacted toward that person.
We finally heard that our case was closed with both the sheriff's office and DCF. They found no wrong doing and didn't charge anyone.
Most likely, we will never know what happened. Was he abused? Was it all a misinterpreted conversation by an untrained staff member? Was he set up to say and do awful things? Was it a lie for retaliation against us, his parents? My gut instinct is that nothing happened. I can't decide if he was set up for retaliation or not. It is disturbing that I am happy if we were set up to leave the school because at least then my child wasn't abused sexually. Either way, it will take a while to gather my shattered pieces of trust. (which wasn't very strong before this incident)