Frostbite

When I was a senior in high school, a relative and I got into a huge argument. It was nothing new. This relative has an abusive, sad past. After smashing my photos in frames that hung on my bedroom wall, the relative told me to leave the house and I complied, though it wasn't willingly.
I had nylons on my feet and no shoes. We lived in the country, on a highway road. I didn't think to grab my car keys and just left the house, probably slamming the door on the way out.
Unfortunately, it was the end of December. The road was sheer ice and the temperatures were frigid. I walked to a neighbors house, which was a country span away from our home. My nylons froze to my feet as I walked, tears staining my face. My nose felt frozen shut as each breath was caught in the cold air.
It was black outside but the stars and bright moon lit the way as I trudged along on the icy highway. My feet began to burn but I didn't know where else to go. I had no money. I had no clothing or belongings with me.
Eventually one relative told the other one to get me. I was carried home but the damage was done. Physically and emotionally, I was damaged yet again.
I spent Christmas Eve in the ER getting crutches and pain medication for my frostbitten feet.

What is frostbite? According to Dr. John Wogan at the Greater Baltimore Medical Center: Frostbite is what happens when exposure to severe cold temperatures reduces blood flow and causes ice-crystals to form inside body tissues, leading to serious, even irreversible, damage. Frostbite can result in permanent nerve injury - primarily numbness or pain - and tissue destruction, even the loss of fingers or toes.
Are there long-term problems associated with frostbite?
Yes. You may develop numbness to the skin and sensitivity to the cold. Severe frostbite can cause loss of the involved body tissue, e.g., tips of the nose, ears, toes and fingers.

No one in the hospital questioned what happened. I don't even know if this would have been grounds to remove me from the home over twenty years ago but no one asked me how my feet were damaged.
I could barely walk due to the blisters covering my feet and I was told that I wasn't allowed to tell my relatives what happened. "Kids" at school whispered. I later learned that everyone believed I had sex in the snow and that's how I got frostbite on my feet. As if I would be so stupid as to have sex in the snow long enough to cause frostbite. Somehow the humiliation of that story was less humiliating than the truth, that I wasn't cherished enough to keep safe. That someone I loved and who was supposed to protect me, did not. The hurt and pain was confounded on my fronts.
Yet I survived, as most people do. I moved on but every year I remember what happened. It took me this long to share this truth. I remember every year because it is this time of year, when it is cold, that I can feel the same burn. My feet scream at me in pain and I have a difficult time walking until they stop the painful tingling.
I told my children this morning that I wasn't feeling well and I needed a little more time to get ready. The truth is, my feet burned with a lessor pain, but a similar one, of 23 years ago.
It still hurts 23 years later but I continue on. I wish I could say that this relative forever wanted to make this wrong better but that isn't the way this story has ended. From this, I know that I never want to be the person who causes this type of pain on someone, especially a relative. My family is loved and I work on showing them every day how wanted and appreciated they are, because they deserve it.