Autism does not mean I'm a bad parent

I'm **almost ** positive every autism parent has heard a version of this sentence: don't use autism as an excuse for poor parenting. This thought comes in different sentences and forms. "Autism doesn't matter." "You just need a better routine." "You need to be more consistent." "You need to have different consequences."
If only you did this... if only you did that... are you sure it's autism, and not just YOU? (insert pointing at the parent) The unsolicited advice, the stares, the dirty looks, the rude gestures end up being too much for this ASD Mom some days.
There there are the questions that get forever old. Have you tried this doctor? Have you tried gluten free foods? Have you tried dye free? Have you tried essential oils? Have you tried this certain evaluation or considered blooms? Have you heard about this new therapy?
It gets old quickly. Unless I ask for your advice, and unless I think you've lived a piece of this puzzle, I don't want your opinion or your stare.
I read this on FB today on someone's status: Question to Ponder: If ADHD is an excuse for bad parenting, why is it the child struggles also in school where there are trained professionals (teachers, behavior therapists, etc...)??????? People we all have opinions. I suggest that we become a little better informed about subjects before we talk about them.
This status was on a fellow advocate's page. The advocate is much more seasoned than I am and I love this. I might use it at my next IEP meeting when the teachers mention anything I could do better. Or anything I should do differently. How about you look at yourselves first? The aggressive meltdowns are occurring at SCHOOL where there are train professionals taking a pay check! I'm "just" MOM here, doing the best I can to survive in these murky waters.
Please consider helping a mom with a special needs child. Don't condemn her or think you know her situation better than she does. She's living it and if the school can't get it together, how do you think she feels? (insert my name there)