Oh Sweet Librarian

I go to our local library a couple times per week. I borrow many books and videos to entertain and educate my family. The staff knows us well because we are there often.
We love our library. I love the idea of a library. Free books! Free movies! Free story time! Yeah, I love free too. When the kids were younger, we went to story time 1-4 times a week. We have had great experiences at the library and we have dealt with passionate, patient librarians for which I'm grateful.
If you were to look at my library account, you would see few fees on it. I am extremely responsible with my library responsibilities. Maybe I'm also cheap. Why pay for it when I can use it for "free"?
One morning, Gabriel had a complete meltdown one morning which involved kicking the lamp next to my bed. This action resulted in a glass of water dumping all over a library book. I was a bit horrified as I watched the water fall on the book but there was nothing I could do to prevent it from happening.
With much care, I dried the book and hoped the few pages that dried wrinkly would pass through the library system. It didn't. I owed $16 for the book and ended up with a book I don't really care to own.
I held my head lower than usual when I went to check out our reserved books. The librarian told me that I couldn't check out the books until I paid my fine. I pulled out a twenty dollar bill and asked for the book in return. When she handed me the book, I said, "It really stinks that I'm penalized for my autistic son having a meltdown and dumping water but oh well. At least I'm an active patron." The librarian responded. Wait for it....
"Maybe next time you'll be more careful." Then she stared at me because I had nothing to say. I stared back and waited for her to give me my change and check out my books.
Be more careful. Yes, the next time my son with AUTISM has a meltdown, I'll be more careful. Maybe I'll move him to that padded room in our home? Or tie him down so he can't kick water that I had near a book? What would you have me do to be more careful? I have an otherwise spotless record on my library account and you have the nerve to tell a mom with an autistic son to be more careful.
A friend has loaned me a book from her personal collection. I keep it safe in the guest room, away from all liquids. I would feel horrible if something happened to her book, though I'm sure she would understand if it did and wouldn't tell me to be more careful next time. However, it is the reason why it is taking me a long time to read the book because I'm not in the guest room most nights. I'm in my room where there is water and a child with autism.
For that sweet librarian, I wish I had the nerve to tell you that you need sensitivity training. I did nothing wrong when the library book was ruined. I use great care when I borrow books and videos and I felt horrible when a book was ruined due to my child. I didn't need to feel worse because you couldn't relate to me for one second.
I already walk on egg shells when I bring him to the library because he's loud and runs. He gets anxious around strangers. He doesn't understand how to react to the silence in the library. He doesn't know why he gets dirty looks for his overly busy body in a rather sterile environment. Now when I see you in the library, I try to silence my child and it makes the entire experience more intimidating for him. I wish I had the strength to advocate for my child everywhere and in every second. I feel like a weak parent when I can't stand up for him in a situation where you hold the power.