The Polar Express

The playgroup had a fun evening event. A member invited everyone over to read The Polar Express and then watch the movie. The kids were each given their own bell which has significance to the story. It was a really neat play date and everyone had a nice time. Interestingly, the kids received a Polar Express gift set for the holidays! Now we can watch the movie any time our hearts desire.

Cookie Exchange

For the third year in a row, the playgroup has had a holiday party with a cookie exchange. I was unable to attend the first one but I have enjoyed the past two. I took cookies but didn't participate in the cookie exchange due to our GFCF diet in our home. I didn't want to torture Andrew and Gabriel with treats that they can't consume. I've also realized that I am no longer a good cookie baker. My cookies turn out gross!
The party is a lot of fun. We have a White Elephant exchange, play lots of games, eat food that is bad for us, and chat without kids or spouses. I got a Nutcracker this year - I LOVE it! I'm grateful for my "Mommy" friends.

Blizzardy Weekend

The original forecast stated that 0-2 inches of snow were on the way this weekend. It didn't seem too bad until I woke up to two of our windows blown open due to a blizzard! Ack!

We spent Saturday at home. We made GFCF brownies and hot cocoa from scratch. I have to admit both recipes were pretty darn good! We read a lot of books and the kids played well.

The kids also watched Santa Claus is Coming to Town. It was fun to watch them curled up on the couch with Andrew.

Later in the evening, I held Gabriel and looked into his beautiful blue eyes. I told him how we prayed and wished for him for three years. He was well worth the wait. He then told me that we can snuggle until he becomes a daddy, then it will be weird. I will keep that in mind but the thought of the day when he is too old to snuggle crushes my heart.

We went to city hall to see Santa on Sunday. Despite all of the preparations, Gabriel threw a fit as we walked in the building. He then sat on Santa's lap without a problem. Alexander stood next to him but never got closer while Lane screamed the entire time. I wonder if we will ever have a photo with all three of them sitting happily. I think not.

Days in early December

Andrew's father took us out to dinner on December 1. I always enjoy the moments we have with him when he is here. He is engaged and interested in the children during these visits and it's nice to see the relationships he is creating with his grandchildren. He tried to understand Gabriel's disability as well.
Gabriel had a rough transition when we sat down at the table. He wanted to sit upstairs rather than at the round table on the first floor. Other parents with typical 6 year olds would be able to get through this moment rather easily. Maybe they would have to deal with a whiney child or a small fit. This is not the case with us. We had to talk to Gabriel about it for twenty minutes. He bumped into one of the waiters on our way to the table and the waiter made an exaggerated movement and stared at us. I had to hold in my "mama bear" looks and comments. It's a never ending process with Gabriel but we get through it and hope to help him every day through every situation.
Lane's first word was "mama" but her first two word utterance was, "Hi Daddy." Andrew melted!
Alexander had an appt on Thursday with a social worker. I thought we were meeting with a psychologist so I was disappointed to hear that her job was to refer us on or let us know everything is okay. We were referred to an agency that will further evaluate him.
Today was a nice Friday. I took Laney to a playdate at Maggie's house. The older children made a snowman craft. She interacted with several people which was fun to watch. We met Andrew for a sushi lunch and later went to Gabriel's first holiday program. He stood on the risers the entire time and did some of the hand movements. He was THRILLED to see us afterward. We walked to Alexander's school and participated in the last part of his Gingerbread Man activity.
Our weekend will include a visit to Belmond, IA, for a benefit for our friend Kate. We look forward to spending time with her and her family this weekend. I'm sure they will be busy with everyone there but it is always nice to spend time with them.

Thanksgiving 2010

We had a fantastic Thanksgiving this year. We typically spend Thanksgiving with "Uncle Nik" but my parents and brother were able to join us this year. The drive for my parents was trecherous so we were even more thankful for their arrival.
We created a delicious GFCF meal for everyone. It was our first year making a traditional Thanksgiving meal for a group of people. It was a fun task!
It astounds me that we have enough room in our home to accomodate four extra adults This home has a great flow to it and it rarely seemed full of people, even with the guest room unavailable.
We went to a tree farm and cut down a tree together. It was a fantastic experience for the kids. We got some cute photos of the kids near a fire place and outside. Above is a photo of all of us after our tree hunt.
I'm very grateful for being able to celebrate the holidays with our beloved relatives and our dear friend.

Halloween Spooktacular

We had our third annual Halloween Spooktacular with the playgroup. We played games, created crafts, danced, and bobbed for apples. We even ate a potluck lunch. It's so much fun to see all of the kids in their costumes.

Our original idea for our family theme was a nun, priest, two devils, and an angel. Gabriel had other ideas (after agreeing to the devil costume and picking it out!) and dressed up as a Viking. Back to his roots, I suppose. It should make his Poppy happy.

We also went to the RR Museum for some more Halloween fun. The boys enjoyed painting pumpkins. It was a nice family holiday.

Living in the Moment

As a busy mother of three young children, I find it difficult to live in the moment. I am working on this because I don't want to look back in ten years and realize I missed out on everything. I do great things with the kids. I know I do but I am constantly thinking steps ahead and about what needs to be accomplished rather than enjoying the wonderful beings we've created.
Yesterday I let the house remain messy until the end of the day. I won't lie - it was tough for me. My brain doesn't always click when I am surrounded by a mess.
I took Gabriel to school and enjoyed watching the boys walk into the school. Alexander still looks so small when he's next to the other children in the elementary school. I took time to walk Gabriel to the bathroom when he asked and thorougly loved watching him follow through on things he needed to accomplish in the morning.
I took Alex and Lane to the grocery store and let them pick out things they wanted. They snacked on cookies. Hey, why not at 9 am rather than 4 pm?! We went to the nursing home. The kids charmed the socks off the residents and I felt like I was glowing again.
We picked Gabriel up at 2:30 and went to the library. The boys told the librarians that we have bed bugs. We don't but it was really funny to me. They watched a news story about bed bugs and they are obsessed with the idea. I'm a little grossed out about staying at a hotel in a couple weeks but I won't bring up the bed bug story or they won't sleep!
Lane was covered in marshmallows. A big mistake to give them to her in the car but it was cute!
So I challenge you to live in the moment today if you aren't already. Let the house stay messy. Let things sit for a while. It will be there later and I promise you will see things you didn't know were happening.

Mosher's Pumpkin Fun

Lane had a blast at Mosher's this year. She walked through the hay maze with her friends and painted a pumpkin for the first time! We rode on a little hay ride with our friends. She even liked the hot cocoa at the end of the event.

Woof Woof! Bark Bark! Arf Arf!

We went to a play date today with the playgroup. It included treats and a craft with puppy ears. Lane was most interested in the treats! I figured out how to make our own version of puppy chow that is GFCF and it is really good!

Krafty Kids: Savings Time

We went to a fun playdate tonight. It involved learning about saving money by painting piggy banks! Gabriel thought was GREAT. Alexander didn't participate but we brought a bank home for him. Maybe he'll paint it another day. Lane has one in her room with her name on it. What a fun idea!

Autism Doesn't Matter!

I was very excited to be a maid of honor in an upcoming wedding. The dress is currently being altered by a professional seamstress. Hundreds of dollars were spent on the bachelorette party and bridal shower. The personalized gift has been purchased. Plans continued to be made for a third 10 hour drive with our three children, now ages 5, 4, and 14 months.
A week ago I received a text from the bride-to-be stating that the rehearsal and dinner are on Sept 30. GREAT! I already have a dress that will be appropriate! Maybe I should order cute bride and groom tshirts? Oh... I'll have to see if it's in my budget and if it could arrive at my parents home in time.
My return text: who from my immediate family is included?
Just you and your husband.
Oh no... my heart is in my throat. What will I do with my 5 year old who has autism, my 4 year old who has issues being left places since preschool started a few weeks ago, and my 14 month old who has reflux that causes her to stop breathing???
For every out of town rehearsal, we have all been including in the dinner even if we weren't in the wedding. I hadn't considered this being an issue.
I am told by the bride that there is a list of babysitters I can call and they can watch the children. However, we are arriving the day before and I can't see how this will work for us. I have to tell the bride that we can't attend the dinner but I will be at all of the other events.
The bride now calls me on the phone and yells at me - I need you at the dinner. We have suprises planned that evening. This is all about me for a couple hours. AUTISM DOESN'T MATTER FOR A COUPLE HOURS!
I remain calm but thankfully the bride hangs up on me or her phone cuts out. Either way, I am left with that comment. Autism doesn't matter for a couple hours.
I digest this comment. It is clear to me that the bride has not taken one moment to realize that autism does matter. It matters every minute of my son's life. Kids with autism lack empathy, common sense and that inner voice of alerting them from right/wrong, dangerous etc. Not one moment can be taken for granted or assumed that your child with autism is making right choices. He has safety measures in place at school and at home. If I don't keep him safe all of those minutes, I will never be able to take it back or replace him. Yes, EVERY one of those 60 minutes in one hour I am worried about my son's safety. I can't turn autism off any one of those minutes.
This past Monday I was kicked out of the wedding. I was kicked out of a wedding because my son has autism. The sickening part of the story is that the bride is my sister. My son's only maternal aunt.

Back to School Breakfast

The boys are both in school during the day. Gabriel is in K this year. Alexander is attending preK Tuesday - Friday from 8:40-3:30. It will be a big adjustment for Alex since this is his first year of formal education. Alex is in the same school Gabriel attended the last two years and has two of the same teachers. His teachers are amazing with the students and I have a lot of confidence in their abilities with children. I miss the boys but it will be nice for Lane and I to have some alone time as well. We went to a back to school breakfast at Maggie's house to celebrate the start of another school year.

Go Fish!

I hosted a play date called Go Fish! We went to the park and had a treat - blue jello with gummy fish in it. The kids liked it but I thought it looked pretty gross. I sent some to Gabriel's class for a treat as well. Unfortunately, Gabriel has an aversion to anything blue and wouldn't even try it. I made red finger jello for him but he didn't want that either... I can't win some days.

Dirt Cups and More...

A park playdate at the end of summer... ahhh... there isn't much better than that in Iowa! But add a parachute and dirt cup treats made by another parent and it's bliss.

Here is a photo of Lane with her friend Xander. They are 20 hours apart in age. His mother thinks he's asking her out on a date here. Too cute!

Oodles of Noodles

A parent in the playgroup offered to host a messy play date in her home. She is very daring! She cooked a ton of noodles and put them in a standing sand box in her kitchen. She added utensils and other toys for the kids. What a sensory experience for the children... and what a mess! Lane ate more than her weight in noodles!!

Foamy Fun Playdate

I added a messy play date to the play group calendar and envisioned children creating shaving cream castles on the picnic tables after playing on the playground equipment. It didn't quite end up that way. The kids were covered in shaving cream from head to toe! It was far more exciting than my original vision. Children's creativity never ceases to amaze me.

Cornbread and Muffin Mix

I made corn bread muffins from this mix last night. These are a huge hit with my family.

Classmate's Birthday Party

I'm diving back into hands-on learning activities with the boys. I took a break while dealing with all of the changes in our lives. We went back to "A" and made alligators out of the letter A. We took out the magnets and found the letter A.



We also read Alligator Baby. The boys asked me to read it several times and giggled through the entire book. I think they would recommend it to all of their friends.

Gabriel attended a birthday party for a classmate on Sunday. All went well until it was cake time. He didn't want juice and the parent was fine with giving him water. When the mother tried to give him cake, he had a complete meltdown and said that he hated birthday parties. The mom didn't give him any cake and left him sitting there with just water. While this would work with many children, this action further upset him. Ahhhh - the joys of autism. We have absolutely no idea what started the problem - was there blue on the cake? He no longer likes the color blue after two years of obsessing over everything blue. Was the cake the wrong size? He likes things BIG. Daddy got a piece of cake for him and all was somewhat better.
We have always opened gifts after our friends have left. I recently read an article that said that it is better etiquette to wait - who wants to sit and watch a kid open gifts any way?! It's boring. Other kids get jealous and most kids do not know how to react if they receive a gift they do not want or already have at home. Also, it causes awkwardness about who purchased which gift. These parents chose to open gifts in front of the kids. Gabriel flipped out. I'm sure the cake incident made everything much worse for him. Sigh.
Gabriel is home from school today. He threw up in the middle of the night. Maybe that is what caused the problem yesterday? The many questions that run through my mind while parenting Gabriel.

This morning we did Lego painting. The boys created some really neat artwork with legos.

This is Day 2 of our GFCF lifestyle. So far, so good and my attitude remains positive. I made rice pudding with our leftover rice last night. Lane decided that she could eat it from a spoon! This is a HUGE accomplishment for her.

Daddy Daughter Photo Session

Andrew took Laney to their first Daddy Daughter photo session. I think the idea is uber cute and I was even happier when I saw the photos. These were taken the day before she turned 10 months old.

Where the green grass grows

A bad mood can ruin everything for me. I couldn't get out of my funk and it didn't help that I was running behind for our play date. I had to run to the store to get dirt and seeds so we could make grass caterpillars. I need to get myself in check on these days because I didn't enjoy the morning at all.. I think the kids enjoyed getting out of the house and playing at the park. This is something I need to work on!

St. Patrick's Day Celebration

Here is a photo of the playgroup celebrating St. Patrick's Day. Alex is screaming about being in the photo and I think Lane is trying to figure out why we are sitting behind everyone.

I've always liked St. Patrick's Day. I don't know why but getting dressed in green and talking about the Irish has always appealed to me. Green clovers and little leprechauns make me grin. I supposed green beer does the same.

In contrast, my husband started wearing green in just the past couple years because his children have Irish ancestry. He was teased and pinched in school when he didn't wear green on St. Patrick's Day. He doesn't have an ounce of Irish ancestry in his blood and didn't participate in the celebration. Having children really does change a person, doesn't it??!!

ChuckECheese in March

We went to a birthday party at ChuckECheese's. I don't enjoy going to ChuckECheeses but my kids LOVE it. The place is overstimulating for me and I usually leave exhausted just from the surroundings. However, I take the kids because I enjoy seeing their smiles. We only go a few times a year so I can shove my loathing aside for them. In the winter, it's a good place for them to get some wiggles out so there is a silver lining as a parent!

Welcoming Natalie - a baby shower

Lane and I went to a baby shower alone. It was a great girl's morning out. I got to talk to friends and spend time with my beautiful baby girl. How can Laney be headed toward 9 months old already??

Here is Laney with her friend Sarah.

Valentine's Weekend

I wanted to have a wonderful Valentine's weekend with my family. I bought books for the kids and planned on making treats with them. Instead, Lane got ill and got a one way ticket to the hospital. Laney and I stayed there for 3 days. She had RSV - like symptoms. Her RSV test came back negative but the doctor thought the test was incorrect. She was dehydrated and lethargic. It absolutely broke my heart to hold my baby as she coughed and choked all weekend.

Another Day at Hobby Lobby

I think what I am feeling is "normal" for parents who are told their child has autism. I have some Mommy guilt. I feel responsible. I feel sad for him yet happy he is my child. My heart continues to break. I'm not entirely ready to say the words out loud to someone in person.
I almost had my first public breakdown yesterday. I took the kids to Hobby Lobby. Laney refused to sit in her car seat so I carried her. Alex sat in the tiny cart. Gabriel walked alongside the cart for a while, until he saw the tub of scissors.
He kept running to the scissors and even broke the tub open to pull the big blue pair out. He was insistent that we purchase the blue scissors and did not understand that they needed to be purchased with the entire tub. He ran back and forth from the scissors to me, even when I wasn't next to him. Gabriel lacks that sense of safety still.
He had a meltdown from the back of the store all the way to the front checkout, screaming for the big blue scissors all the way. This is understandable from a two year old but not so much from a 5 year old. I couldn't pick him up because I had Laney in my arms and he couldn't go in the cart because it was too small.
Older women were giving me looks. It felt like they were questioning my parenting. This is when I almost let the tears fall down my face. I wanted to yell.. it isn't me! It isn't him! It's this damn black cloud lingering over him called AUTISM! Be kind and accept him and quit giving me dirty looks!!!
Instead I calmly paid, got him out of the store, and buckled everyone into their car seats. I drove through Starbucks for a mocha treat after that fiasco. Gabriel was still screaming for the scissors.

Iowa City

On February 3, we traveled to Iowa City. Gabriel had an all day evaluation and received a diagnosis at the end of the day. Gabriel has PDD-NOS. He is officially on the autism spectrum. It has taken us a couple weeks to deal with this emotionally. However, we know that he is still the same sweet and loving little boy that we knew before the dx. Now we can set more therapy in place for him to help him succeed in life. We hope to give him every opportunity available so he can have a happy and successful adulthood.

Andrew was thrilled to show the boys how to play chess. It was very entertaining to watch the boys "destroy" each other.

Valentines in Progress

Day two of Valentine creating has been accomplished. The paintings are dry and now we have to assemble everything. Even Laney helped out with the painting.

Swinging and Sleeping

Lane fell asleep in her swing for the first time in weeks. Hooray! She is such a sweet princess. She is holding on to her kitty and caterpiller in the photo.

A snow day in January

Another busy snow day. We're stuck at home but we completed many things, including Gabriel's Valentine's box for preschool. He is very proud of it. We started our Valentines. Hopefully we'll complete them in time! The kids did a lot of jumping for me this afternoon. The boys are very creative and set up a border to jump over - here is a video of their adventure! Laney has been obsessed with jumping. I put her in a friend's jumperoo and she now realizes how fun it is to bounce and jump all day!

Art Center

We went to the art center with the playgroup today. Gabriel painted a train and added feathers per his friend Lily's advice. Alexander painted a house (it's actually a church). It's interesting to watch their different techniques. Alex is very careful and tedious in his painting. Gabriel dives right in and completes his task quickly. Both boys were very proud of their work. Laney was charming and stayed in my arms most of the time. Our friend, Ryan, held her for a while and she flirted with Ryan and Lacey.

Happenings in Jan 10

Lane is almost 7 months. It feels like it is going all too fast. She is a very easy going baby, esp. if I am in the room. She isn't too fond of other people holding her for long.

Alex had decided that he can use the potty. Hooray! Maybe we will be down to one in diapers after all!

Gabriel had his first full day of school yesterday. I missed him terribly. I picked him up at 2:40 instead of 3:30. I just couldn't wait that long. Of course, within 5 minutes of being in the van, Alex and Gabriel started arguing and I thought about taking him back for half an hour.

Lane will begin PT on Tuesdays while Gabriel has OT. She will spend time with Summer for torticollis and any possible developmental delays. Alexander enjoys following Gabriel and doing whatever task he completes while we're at therapy. They both get lots of "work" accomplished.

We continue to go to story time on Mondays. We are usually the only family there so it's a nice personal story time. We are getting to know Odessa well.

On Wednesday night, we'll go to Westwood nursing home to have Sneaky's chicken. It will be nice to show Andrew where I take the kids a couple times a month.

Nursing Home Visits

When Gabriel was an infant, we attended a monthly play date at a nursing home. Later, when we lived in Miami, I asked the organizer of our playgroup if I could contact nursing homes to arrange something similar. Since there are a lot of nursing homes in Florida, I thought it would be an easy event to arrange. She told me that no one would attend so I shouldn't waste my time.
I have been an organizer of a playgroup here in Iowa for two years. In October, I finally contacted an activity director at a local nursing home. I wasn't sure if other families in the play group would want to go with me or if the activity director would want a bunch of babies and preschoolers to visit the nursing home. I was nervous when I talked to her!
The playgroup recently went to its 4th event at the nursing home. I have also taken my children aside from the playgroup. I leave with warm fuzzies every time. I wish I had done this a long time ago!
In my own small way, I feel like I'm helping someone. Maybe I am brightening their day when I bring the kids in? I hope so because they are giving me back a lot in return.
My mother and sister have been working in nursing homes for years. One time I said, "your job is gross.," to my sister. I think I offended her and didn't get the opportunity to explain what I meant. Sometimes words jump out of my mouth and I wish I could catch them and rearrange them.
What I meant to say was... I admire what you do. I am happy you are someone who chose to help people, especially people who seem to be forgotten in our society. I don't think I could do it because dealing with death is difficult for me. (let alone feces)
If you're thinking about making a difference, even if it seems small, do it. You won't regret it.

Good bye 2009 - hello new decade

Hello to a new decade and good bye to 2009. 2009 was a very challenging and stressful year for us. We learned about Andrew's disease, dealt with complications due to pregnancy, and watched our daughter in the NICU. Gabriel had stitches in his ear and Alexander had a surgery cosultation. We said good bye to loved ones including Gram on Christmas day. We learned about ourselves and about true friendship.

As we continued to settle into Sioux City, we also had adventures in Miami, Washington DC, and Denver. These adventures exposed the children to more than we have available in Sioux City and we are grateful for the experiences.

At the end of this decade, we will have two teenagers and and a 10 year old. It is unfathomable as we deal with day-to-day life with preschoolers and an infant now. May we continue to enjoy the challenges and adventures our children give us as they go too quickly. Before we know it, we will have those teenagers in the house and we will wonder what happened to our busy 5, yo 3 yo, and 6 month old.

May 2010 be a healthy and happy one for us those who touch our lives. Thank you for being in our life.

(the above photo is the children with the gifts from Westwood nursing home December 8,2009)