the Positives

It's time for some positives in a blog because really, my life is full of positive moments. There is a LOT of compost too but that's for another day.
This will start out sounding negative but hang in there with me. I promise it gets better... so many days, I many every day, I feel pangs of what life should be like....what life would be like without autism, and ADHD, and heart defects, OCD, and chiari... and all the other crap we deal with... when I get glimpses into other families lives and I want it. I honestly do. When I was pregnant, I never thought I would have a perfect life or be a perfect parent and mediocre seemed fine with me. If I muddled through it, that was okay.
I see families rushing off for boy scouts and soccer or football. I hear them complaining about the trip to the pediatrician for a fever or a cough that won't go away and I think, "I wish that was me." I wish I didn't have to go the pediatric rheumatologist, pediatric cardiologist, pediatric orthopedist, pediatric neurosurgeon, and pediatric ophthalmologist next month. I wish my life revolved around practices and tournament time rather than co-pays, insurance battles, medication, and Google PhDs.
Well, NEWS FLASH, it doesn't... so time for some positives...

I have three kids, two have special needs and here are some cool things about them, that the average family doesn't get to experience:

1. They are young at heart. It's not from me and my parenting. They just are.... they like little kid things still. As much as I want to fight it and I want them to like things meant for their age, I don't have to deal with the older kids things that lead to uncomfortable conversations and thoughts (yet). Until this past year, my 8 and 10 year old sons watched Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Thomas the Tank Engine in the morning. We have since moved to Gravity Falls and Sponge Bob.
2. Holidays are still magical. They have NO idea that a fairy, magic guy, or animal doesn't bring them something fun on a holiday. Even if they dabble in the idea that "Santa" isn't real for a moment, it doesn't last long and I am completely and totally loving it.
3. Kids with autism can't lie. Okay, they can but my kids have such black and white thinking that it doesn't happen. They are rule followers and if "god" or "the police" or "teachers" make up the rules, that's it, those are the rules. Nice, right? So when someone tries to contradict my child, I don't have to question who is telling me the truth. Trust me, I know my kids limitations and deficits, but I do not have to contend with lying yet.
4. VANS I buy my kids cute VANS or generic similar brand shoes The boys don't have the fine motor skills to tie their shoes so I keep VANS in business. Why not? They look cool.
5. Sleep overs are an impossibility. I hear about other kids asking about sleep-overs and wanting to spend time with other kids at their houses. Yeah, not a problem. They have ZERO interest. It means that they can't sleep in our bed, with us. (but I won't go there, I'm looking at the positives)
6. They don't care about name brand clothing. Alex favors name brand clothing because he has great taste but he doesn't complain if it's an off brand.
7. I've met some really cool people. Patient teachers, knowledgeable doctors, therapists, nurses, other parents with special needs children, adults with autism -- they have all had an effect on my life. Our neurosurgeon feels like part of our extended family. 
8. I know who my real friends are and who I can count on. I've created an extended family to add to our biological family and we are blessed with knowing wonderful people who will step in when we need them.
9. I've found reserves that I didn't know were possible. The ongoing stress and trauma have made me less judgmental and more understanding of other people's perspectives.
10. I can pronounce and explain huge medical terms and concepts, without a medical background. I understand things most people haven't even heard of before.
11. I don't take child development lightly. I celebrate many milestones with pure joy and glee. He wrote a full sentence! His eyes are tracking! He can button his shirt! These aren't minor developments in our home and that makes some days exciting.