A Convertible and an Escalade

Many friends have teenagers getting their temps and drivers licenses lately.  The thought makes me cringe. I don't know they go through the experience so gracefully.  The fear, the expense, the trust ...  I'm grateful I have a few more years before I have to worry about this big milestone. 

We recently found cars for the kids at garage sales and decided to get them. I never thought I would get battery operated cars for them but they love them 

The boys car is fast and it took a while to teach them how to make safe choices.  I envisioned them plowing through someone's garage door.  (Andrew went through a garage door with our car in college so I've seen it happen before). It didn't take long and we were circling the block. 

Bourbon Street!

We took the kids to Bourbon Street in New Orleans last night.  It is quite the adventure and I have to admit I'm proud of my little travelers. The ten hour drive didn't phase them at all. I am so happy that we can give our children these experiences.  

Here is one way Lane kept herself entertained:

We stopped in Tallahassee for the night to divide the drive into two parts. When we woke up, it was 34 degrees. I can't remember the last time we felt that temperature and we were cold! Lane told Alex to put a blanket on to cool off.  She is a true Floridian after all.  She doesn't even know the terms to warm up! 

We drove to Mobile, Alabama, where we had lunch and visited the USS Alabama. We learned a lot about WW II and the battleships. The kids thoroughly enjoyed exploring the ship.  My camera didn't cooperate so I didn't get many good photos of our experience on the ship. 

Our lunch was wonderful.  The hospitality of the south can't be beat and I love the accents. The staff at the restaurant was very accommodating to my children and pointed out an alligator habitat.  

I took the kids outside the alligators.  We also watched a fisherman catch catfish.  Alex was positive he caught a baby shark and he was very disturbed by it. 

The kids also experienced a hammock.  Kids and a hammock for the first time is a hilarious thing to watch. They flipped and turned and laughed hysterically. 

After we checked into our hotel, we bundled up and took the kids to Bourbon Street.  It looks very different from my last visit here, over a decade ago.  It has the same flair and upbeat energy though. 

We enjoyed the amazing food of New Orleans and the music.  Oh the music! Alex's hip hop lessons have clearly enhanced his freestyle.  His moves are amazing for his little body.  Gabriel was thrilled with the jazz. 

Gabriel knuckled and high fived every homeless person and each person asking for money.  I had an issue with safety at first but realized each person had a huge smile on their face when he touched them. Gabriel is a very unique and loving child. 

Please note the Trouble shirts in the background. 

Oktoberfest in Celebration

We drove to Oktoberfest in Celebration, forty minutes away.  We listened to fabulous live music and my children danced their hearts out.  We ate yummy food and had great drinks   

The kids also had a photo taken with Hello Kitty, something we haven't done in a while. They all love Hello Kitty.

Two things stand out from our day.  Gabriel, who usually is color obsessed, refused to wear a dark brown fall shirt I picked out for him. It wasn't the color that cause the issue, but the material. It is a light cord material and he refused to look like a cowboy.

The downtown drops paper leaves three times a night and the kids were excited to collect the leaves.  We stood under the leave collecting spot. 

Alex walked to the side and Andrew followed him.  Within seconds, Andrew came back in a panic because he could no longer find Alex.   I grabbed the other two children's hands and told Andrew to continue  searching for Alex. 

My stomach did flips as the minutes ticked on.  I wanted to scream at the happy crowd.  How the hell could everyone be so joyful when I was in an obvious panic? No one asked what was going on or if they could help as I called Alex's name. 

After 7 minutes, I walked to the nearest restaurant and asked them to contact a police officer to help me find my seven year old son. The restaurant worker didnt know want to do and found the manager.  

By the time the manager arrived to talk to me, Alex had been missing for twelve long minutes.  He has never been missing this long. My head was going to explode and I silently plead with God.  Please let him go home with someone who just wants a little boy and not some awful child abusing killer.  Please.  

Lane yelled at me because I was gripping he hand too hard.  I tried to imagine if I could live without Alex.  How would I go from the mother of three to two? How would I refrain from blaming Andrew for losing sight of Alex? 

I pulled out my phone and showed the manager the last photo I took of Alex, happily eating cheese pizza   

After 17 minutes, Andrew found Alex standing with a police officer.  Alex was found at a different section of the street, crying.  He wouldn't talk to anyone but stood with the police officer while they looked for us. 

We left Oktoberfest immediately. I couldn't handle the crowd any longer. I was shaking and the adrenaline was slowly wearing off.  I am beyond grateful that Alex was found and he was safe. 

We stopped at Joe's Crab Shack for dessert for the kids.  The Mad Hatter created balloon characters for them and all was well.

 I hope I never have to experience the terror of a missing child again. I wish no one had to experience that nightmare. 

Peanuts Playhouse and Sushi

There is a children's play area called Peanuts Playhouse. It is right down the street from the dance studio, less than 20 minutes from our home. I finally took Lane to it because our play group planned a meet up there. 

I wasn't sure if it would be interesting for her because its different toys. There aren't any bounce houses or anything that my kids typically deem exciting.  

I couldn't be more wrong.  Lane loved the place.  I haven't seen her so wild before.  She ran from section to section, excitedly playing with everything. She was even thrilled when we wet outside for a snack and she found outside toys. She proclaimed it her "most favorite day ever".  Wow. She has been to Disney and has had breakfast with her favorite princesses and this was her best day ever.  

She thought the drums were cool

Rather than go home right away, I asked her where she would like to go to lunch. We rarely take advantage of lunch together, just the two of us.  She asked for "salad, soup, and sushi". I was thrilled to take her to a local Japanese restaurant to fulfill her craving. 

A work meeting

I had a work meeting at a restaurant. I am not receiving a paycheck yet so I can't justify a babysitter for four year old Lane. I picked out a cute outfit for her to wear and prepared her for my meeting. 

As I fretted with my own outfit, she decided that her outfit was not appropriate for the meeting.  She insisted on changing and picked a black and white dress, something she would normally avoid. 

Later Lane disappeared to her bedroom and reappeared with a lot of cute jewelry. She told me that she looked professional.  I had to giggle when I noticed her pink slippers 

Here is a photo of my little professional.

 

While we sat at the meeting, Lane seemed bored with her crayons and the conversation.  I decided to teach her how to write her last name. If she can write Lane, surely she can write Mai.  Within minutes, she was able to write her entire name and I was thrilled for her. 

AUTISM, I still hate you.

Today has been a day when I didn't think I could handle autism. In fact, today I hate it. I genuinely hate what autism does to my son and his interactions with the world. I hate how much he has to struggle and work on things to function.
I need respite care for him for an hour. Just one hour of me sitting and composing myself without the yelling and screaming he's doing today. An hour away from him blowing snot all over himself and trying to make himself vomit. Just one hour... one hour to decompress without worry. That won't happen. So instead, I will write here and take a few minutes away while he yells in the other room.
I've learned that yelling and scrambled thoughts are his way of dealing with stress. Any time he is anxious or stressed, I can guarantee verbal outbursts. I refer to it as "verbal stimming" though I'm unsure what a "professional" would call it.
Think about the parent who deals with a colicky baby. It becomes nearly impossible to remain calm. It is an incredible challenge to ignore hour after hour of screaming nonsense.
As I type this, he is yelling at me and calling me a clown. That doesn't seem so bad except this has been going on since 7:45 am. It is now 2:30 pm.
So why am I dealing with this "verbal stimming" today? I made the tactical error of taking him to the pediatric ophthalmologist this morning. He was due for his annual appointment. On the way to his appointment, we discussed what would happen and it began his anxiety and intense fear.
I stopped talking to him about his appointment on our hour drive but it didn't calm him. I couldn't win. I thought about cancelling his appointment but 1.I would get charged a late cancellation fee 2. sometimes he is able to change his behavior and calm down for doctors
It didn't happen. I clung to me like an infant in the waiting area. He SCREAMED and YELLED while I talked to the nurse and doctor. He was terrified. When the nurse asked if she could get eye drops in for refraction, I told her that I didn't think it would be possible today. She gave me a strange look and said, "we don't have a problem holding him down." Before I could even think, I responded, "I'm not okay with physical restraint of my child with autism for an elective procedure."
Apparently she didn't like my response and told me that the dr might not see us then. I said, "that's fine, you are not restraining my child and freaking him out for further appointments which we have many every year." She said, "I'll go talk to him but he won't want to even see you." The dr came into the room.
I apologized. For what, I'm not sure but it had been a long hour and a half in the car and then in the waiting room. I think I didn't want someone being rude to my child because I took a stand against physical restraint of my child.
Basically I learned that my Mama Bear has gotten stronger and louder. My patience is being tested beyond all reasonable expectations. I can't make morning dr appointments any more because he can't turn his behavior around for school so I am now listening to him yell all day. Now I'm angry because I spent $50 on a copay to spend the day with a child who I can not console.
Respite care, where the hell are you??!! And AUTISM, I still hate you.

Halloween 2013

Andrew and I have enjoyed Halloween together since college. Like most parents, Halloween has changed. Our children are the center of the holiday and we are spectators organizing the chaos.
Lane woke up early and stated, "It's my favorite holiday today!!" She explained that she loves Halloween because she can dress up like anyone she wants to. The sweetness of a four year old excited about a holiday makes the world a better place.
The kids began the day as Alice in Wonderland, a spider, and an Angry Bird. Lane's Alice costume came from a resale shop for a couple dollars and we added accessories from our home to complete her look. I think she made a great Alice this year.



The boys had a day filled with a storybook parade, a potluck lunch, and learning activities that were Halloween based. They both had a good time. Lane helped me take in our spidery cheese and fruit skewers on a pumpkin for their spooky potluck.





At 6 pm, we went trick-or-treating with friends in our community. Lane was Rapunzel as a bride, Gabriel remained a red Angry Bird, and Alex became Iron Man. Alex turned into his character, even challenging his enemy, another child in costume, along the way. Alex also threw himself on the ground in the middle of crowds, claiming that he needed to re-energize. Even if it was exhausting to keep up with our Ironman, he ha a fantastic time and life is never dull with Alex in it.



After trick-or-treating, the kids handed candy out to follow costume clad children. When a group of beautiful middle school aged girls walked up to the door, Alex's face lit up. The first girl had long dark hair. Alex said, "you don't have to say trick-or treat, you are so beautiful, you don't need to." He also told the girls that they didn't need to say, "thank you" because beautiful girls don't need to be polite. I am unsure where he hears these things or how he comes up with them but he definitely charmed the girls on our front porch that night.