Spring sensory bin

Since Gabriel started occupational therapy about six years ago, I learned how important sensory input is for children. His private occupational therapist in Iowa had a great des for sensory bins. I always thought in terms of classrooms and children's museums.  Those bins are huge and impractical for home use.  She had a rectangular bin with a lid on it. 

Brilliant! I've had the same bin with different things in it.  Moon sand was a favorite item for a long time. The shallow bin kept the mess contained and that is always helpful with little ones. 

My latest addition to our sensory bin was dollar store Easter grass with spring and Easter items. I included a plastic dish to put the items in as well as a shovel and rake. It has provided hours of fun with the grass. 

Flip flops year round

A few months ago, Lane wore one of my favorite winter outfits.  It was a cold for us day.  It was a cute boutique skirt with a shrug. We added winter white tights.  When asked to get shoes, se added flip flops. She has always had her own sense  of style, even when it doesn't seem comfortable. 

She looked so sweet when she fell asleep later in the day.  The joys of a nap.  

When G-d doesn't Answer....

"Hello G-d, It's me, Jessica..."

I was in such a bad place the past couple weeks that I envisioned dying in my sleep. It has to be the best way to go. G-d didn't answer my plead though because I'm still here.
My chronic pain from sjogrens and fibromyalgia was kicking my tush. Some days I can barely muster the strength to get out of bed, let alone complete the duties of a stay-at-home mother with two special needs children and a very active, inquisitive three year old. My joints feel like they are on fire. My muscles feel like I ran a marathon and I am far from that kind of activity level.
I've tried the conventional medication the doctor gave me. I spent tons of money on copays and vitamins, all to feel worse. I retained water and gained quite a bit of weight. I've researched the two new labels I've been given in the hopes for some relief for the never ending list of ailments but found no answers.
The school that we have loved all year decided to make some mistakes including placing our ASD son in a self-contained ASD unit at another school. If that wasn't against IDEA, it might sound like a reasonable thing to do. We visited the room and it was glorified day care. One child played Little Ponies on the floor while another slept the day away due to his medication. There was nothing on the white walls and several of the children struggled to form sentences. The teacher was lovely but the atmosphere was pathetic and left me with a sad, dull feeling in the pit of my soul. Could the children in that room achieve more if they were given the opportunity?

A battle with the school ensued that included writing several complaints to the state. Many discussions and emails to/from the school and the district showed how many issues we had at the school. I was blissfully happy to ignore them when things were going well with my kids. However, that darn mama bear can't look away when someone messes with my children. She isn't a pretty beast - in fact, she is a persistent bitch who won't let someone screw with her children.
I asked for copies of the boys cumulative folders from the school. There were numerous errors. Honestly, I would think that school personnel would double check the information to make sure it was correct when an obviously disgruntled parent asks for it. The folders included confidential information and data logs that we shouldn't have in our possession. There were inaccurate emails from a past teacher, further evidence of why I didn't care for her.
Gabriel's hospital homebound teacher quit her job because I wrote a complaint against her sister. She had no regard for Gabriel and his needs. He was sad that he didn't see his teacher at school any more and we had to transition to another teacher with only three weeks left of school.
Alex hasn't had an eligibility meeting all school year despite emails and verbal conversations asking for a meeting. I've been so involved in surgery, private evaluations, Gabriel's issues, my pain, and more that I let it go. Until now... again, don't screw with my children.

Alex's medication ran out and he needed more of it. It is a 45 minute drive to the Child Development Center to get the paper script. It take a couple days for the center to write the script and they guarantee the script to be received in the mail within a couple weeks. There was NO way I could wait longer. The poor child was bouncing off the walls. His teacher even wrote to me about how she hasn't seen him behave so poorly.
My 40th birthday was approaching with no definite plans. I was depressed and disappointed that I wasn't having a party. How ridiculous, I know. I'm an adult and I've had enough parties to celebrate the essence of me.
Our current tenants have decided that it isn't their responsibility to pay the utilities or the rent. I am shocked that such irresponsible people exist. I should not be, I know, but even when I was a 19 year old renter, I knew that my rent was due on the first of every month, no matter what. Somehow I found a way to pay our rent, every month, on time. Why in the world would someone think they can live somewhere for free?! So now we have to evict them. I wish they would move out without a problem.
Our van demanded a new hose assembly to the tune of almost $900. Really, when it rains, it pours.
The last couple of weeks included a busy dance schedule, teacher appreciation week, doctor appointments, and more. Normally, this is just my life. One that fascinates and amazes even me but it made me feel like I was slowly sinking in a sea of madness, stress, and self-loathing.
I am slowly getting back to where the world doesn't feel like it's on my shoulders. In fact, a friend wrote, "don't forget who is holding you when you see one set of footprints." I'm glad G-d didn't answer that prayer but G-d sure thinks I can handle a lot. Yet I know it's a lot less than other people deal with every day. It could be so much worse and sadly, that is what has kept me going. I hope He keeps holding me.

A tail?

My children have all enjoyed dressing up.  Alex liked full costumes when he was younger. Gabriel liked to pretend he was a dog, complete with a leash. I got a few dirty looks when he demanded to be a dog with a leash in public.  Oh well, pick your battles as a parent. 

Lane is her own type of fashionista. She picked out sunglasses and a cute hat with a purple hat.  It's a typical three year old look. If you look closely, she added a piece of white string to the back of her shorts. 

It is a tail, of course! Shouldn't every adorable three year old have a tail?

Mothers Day Tea

Alex's first grade class had Mothers Day tea.  Shortly after school started, the moms lined up outside the classroom doors. The teacher opened the door and the children escorted us in one at a time. Alex looked extremely proud when he came out to get me.

I sat at Alex's seat and desk.  The teacher did an incredible job setting everything up. The desk had a lovely tea cup and saucer, and artwork completed by my son. 

The class performed the Little Red Hen and sang adorable songs.  Afterward, the moms were served breakfast.  It was one of my favorite school events - I felt adored by Alex and I got to watch his talent shine through during his performance. 

A week with the grandparents

My parents and my brother arrived the day before my birthday.  We are usually so busy when they are here and I want to savor every minute, which doesn't allow for much time to type in my blog. 

On my actual birthday, we took the kids to dance and then to lunch at a lakeside restaurant. Later that evening they watched the kids so we could celebrate the day of my birth with friends.  It was a fantastic rarity to have a night out with adults.

Poppy made a model car with Gabriel.  Gabriel was excited for weeks before their arrival to make it.  Then they got it out and Gabriel lost his enthusiasm. I guess he wanted a real car to drive to McDonald's.  I didn't realize he meant that when he told me 

Later in the week, we went for a hike to Cat Lake.  Cat Lake is located near our home.  It's an easy walk to a gorgeous lake with huge banyan trees and Florida wildlife. The kids were excited to see an armadillo scurrying in the campground. 

The kids are at the ages where time with Granny and Poppy is wonderful.  They are thrilled to have them here. Lane is especially happy to have shoulders to sit on when we go on adventures. 

On Thursday, we kept the kids home from school and traveled half an hour to the beach. Gabriel searched for a fish in the water. He wasn't sure if he would eat the fish or keep it as a pet. After about three hours of jumping waves and building sand castles, we left with sun kissed cheeks.  Life in Florida can be good. 

We are off to Disney tomorrow if everyone is in a cooperative mood.  

40 and fabulous

This is it - the last days of my 30s.  It's been a good run. I created three tiny human beings. I've lived in several areas of the country in my 30s and purchased my first home. I've made new friends and learned to cut ties with those people who don't deserve that title, no matter how emotionally difficult that was for me. 

My 40s will bring more change. An added career in special education advocacy.  I didn't even know that existed a couple years ago. I am learning to cope with chronic pain and seeking realistic answers. I'm sure these next few years will bring more excitement and joy along with heartache. Life seems to find a way to do that at every age 

Thankfully as I gain a year in age, I've lost seven pounds over the last few days.  It's incredible how cutting out prescription medication with awful side effects can help that problem. Stupid medication. 

Here's to age 40!  I hope to challenge it and make the most of this time. 

Patterns patterns patterns

Patterns come easily to all of my children and I am grateful.  They actually enjoy figuring out and creating patterns when I set pattern activities up for them. 

Unfortunately, Alex is working on patterns in math and it is too easy for him. He is getting in trouble with the substitute teacher because he doesn't want to do the busy work.  In order to make it a little more interesting, I pulled out the stamper markers.  He was able to create his patterns faster and with cute little shapes. 

Gabriel's habitat

Gabriel's latest science assignment was to make a diorama of a habitat. He chose to learn about cheetahs.  It ended up being a neat learning experience. 

We made a lap book with a lot of interesting facts. We learned what cheetahs eat and that lions and hyenas are the cheetahs predators. The majority of wild cheetahs live in Africa and only a few are left India.  Gabriel was disappointed to hear that cheetahs are endangered. 

The diorama was a new experience for all of us.  We didn't have a shoe box so we used a cereal box. We added blue and brown paper, paint, and sand to the box.  We glued animals and statements to the inside with one tree.  We had a semi-desert grassland habitat. 

Lane, the surfer?

Lane has loved the outdoors since she was an infant.  She ask to go outside at a very young age, even when there was tons of snow on the ground in Iowa. She is no longer a child of the corn. 

She picked out the Princess dress and added the hat later in the day.  Lane insisted on playing with the boogie board in the house.  She told me that she was surfing.  Then she would pretend to dive into the waves.  

I'm positive we didn't play these types of games in Siouxland.  It's so funny how different children's experiences are simply due to geography. 

Meet Flower

The kids have been asking for a new pet since January.  To be honest, I don't want the expense or the added commitment right now.  If I am going to pick up after another creature right now, I want another human baby. 

 I also don't want the heartache when the pet passes away. I researched tortoises for that reason: it might outlive me.  The dogs are now 10 and 11. We have said good bye to our two sweet kitties and I don't want experience any more deaths through pet loss 

Then the guilt as a mother hits me.  Why not allow the children the joy of caring for a pet and teach them the responsibility that comes along with having another pet.  

So when we were in the pet store this weekend, Lane and Gabriel changed t mind.  We have another beta fish. "Goldfish" lived for years and even made it across the country before crossing the Rainbow Bridge.  

Please welcome Flower to our family. May "she" (the label stated male) lives y happy years with us. 

Siegel's Salesperson, I hate you

To Whom It May Concern;

A couple weeks ago, I purchased two dresses from the Siegels located at 330 Park Avenue in Winter Park, FL.. I was delighted by the clothing and have enjoyed purchasing Spiegels over the years. However, the female salesperson has discouraged me from purchasing from Spiegels.

I asked the salesperson if there was a particular dress in a larger size, to which she replied, "I do not have your size in most of my dresses." I should have left the store in that moment but I love the clothing. Instead, I ignored her and continued to look for something I could wear. She made several comments about my size and weight while I continued to look for a dress. She had no idea if I was buying a gift or a dress for myself.

It was dress for myself and I am currently a size 14/16. I'm larger than I have ever been in my life due to a chronic joint and muscle disease and medication I am taking. It is through no fault of my own. When I mentioned that I have a birthday coming up, she asked if I am in my mid-40s. (I will be 40)

I brought my dresses home and decided that due to her rude behavior, I would drice 45 minutes to return the dresses a few days later. While the male salesperson returned the dresses, she walked up to the counter. She asked, "were the dresses too small?" I smiled and politely responded, "no, actually, they fit fine." She walked away and hung the dresses up. Even if I wanted to squeeze my large tush in a dress, it is none of her business. (spanx works great, by the way)

I do not think this is the type of salesperson Siegels wants to represent their fine line of clothing. I deserve to be treated with dignity and respect as a customer. I took my business down the street and bought several dresses and the salespeople were delightful. At the very least, I deserve an apology from this salesperson.

Please let me know if this needs to be forwarded to someone in particular.

Thank you for your time,

Jessica M. Fredrick

You are scent-sational

Gabriel picked out two sachets for teacher gifts. He took his time smelling each fragrance until he came across the one worthy of gift giving.  It warms my heart that he is finally interested in gift giving because is a kind and sweet man cub. 

Once I had the sachets at home I had to do something to make them a little more appealing. I added a pretty ribbon from my stash and added "you are scent-sational."  

This year the boys have had two fantastic teachers.  They have done a great job working with them and I know it hasn't always been easy. We appreciate the job well done.  

Pen holder for teacher appreciation

Due to unforeseen vehicle expenses, my spending money for teacher appreciation week was very limited.  I went to the dollar store in search of something cute and budget friendly.  

I saw a crayon decorated holder for pens. I didn't  have the inspiration at hand so I had to wing it.  A pack of 48 crayons, a 2 pack of sticky notes, and two packs of a dozen pens seemed like the right items to make it. Four dollars plus tax was my total. 

My insomnia hit so I grabbed two small mason jars, some Dr Seuss ribbon, and a glue fun.  I almost needed all of the crayons. The ribbon pulled it all together but it seemed to need more even after I added the pens as sticky notes. 

I found an adorable Dr Seuss quote and printed it for free. I set the quote in the jar and wrapped everything for the next day.

I gave the more expensive gift cards at the beginning of the week and I think these gifts were just as  appreciated.  At least I hope so. 

Give me THAT back!

My rheumatologist asked me to get blood drawn twice. This was in February and I had until May 7 to get it accomplished. My biggest obstacles to completing this task are named are Lane and Gabriel.
I talked to the nurse last week because my symptoms are worse rather than better. This is clearly the wrong direction. And as my friend told me today - she has the same problem, "her doctor gets Prada shoes and she gets sicker." The nurse reminded me that I need to get the blood tests done in order to complete my diagnosis and to possibly help me.
Sigh. Honestly, I'm squeamish about IVs after the horrendous experiences I've had with them but a blood draw is not a big deal to me.
My daughter was freaked out about it. Gabriel is beside himself when I bring up the subject. I took a couple days to prepare them and went in confident. (Kind of)
Gabriel got anxious right away and I had to continually reassure him that the phlebotomist wouldn't take too much of my blood. Poor child.
When I was called back, Lane's curiosity sprang as she asked about the funny chair and the color of the band aids. Overall, she seemed fine.
Gabriel sat on the floor but he was worried. I realized it wasn't a good time to finish his blood draw from October. This was especially true when the phlebotomist told me about a little boy with autism who came in and she couldn't get all of the necessary blood for the tests.
The boy yelled at her and told her that he wanted his blood back. He wanted to drink the blood and thought the he was going to turn into a vampire.
Thankfully she left out the part about how his mother tried to take him out the door and he threw himself on the ground, kicking and hitting anyone in his way. He wanted his blood back! How his mother wanted the ground to swallow her whole when another phlebotomist yelled at her son for kicking her.
Yep that was MY kid and the reason why I didn't rush to get my blood drawn with him at my side. I didn't tell this phlebotomist that she was speaking about my son. I was curious what she had to say about that awful experience where I apologized more in one location than ever before in my life.

Plant seeds

It's that time of the year to plant seeds. The kids were given several packs of marigold seeds at Epcot and wanted to see them grow. Gabriel and Lane were excited to see flowers so we picked up some dirts and pots and had a little seed planting morning.
They both like to get into sand at the beach or at the playground so I was surprised how clean they kept their area when they planted and watered their little seeds. It has been two weeks and they are still interested in what they created Gabriel has been responsible about watering the plants too.
We have two more planting projects planned for a morning when we are home. We are going to plant carrot seeds in a two liter bottle so the kids can watch the carrots grow. We are also going to plant bean seeds in a cd case which will enable us to label the parts when it begins to grow.