Four days away...

I'm tired. I hurt. I hate autoimmune diseases.  For over a year, I've considered a weekend away from my kids I love my kids but my body has been reminding me that everyone needs a break from their job.  

I haven't been away from the kids overnight except for hospital stays.   If you've been in the hospital, you know it isn't a restful place.  

When the children were younger I never had the desire to be gone and I didn't want to be away. Now that they are less dependent on me, I think they would be just fine without me.  Anyone interested in a girls weekend away without kids? 

An uncle I grew up passed away suddenly last week. We made the decision for me to fly up and leave the children and my husband at home. They aren't at ages where they would act appropriately at a funeral service.  

This wasn't the kind of weekend away I was dreaming about - you know the saying, "be careful what you wish for?"  I think it applies. 

Though I missed my children terribly, it was nice to have adult conversations and grieve without worrying about my children's needs  I was able to assist my family with preparations and I felt needed.  

I absolutely hate that the reason I saw my relatives was due to a death but on a positive note, it was a blessing to spend time with them.  It was especially meaningful to spend time with my grandmother. 

I am grateful to have a husband who is capable of taking over the household tasks and the children while I was gone. I wasn't worried about their safety and I knew he would enjoy the bonding time with the kids. 

I have a deeper appreciation for my dad's side of the family. When great celebrations or tragedies occur, we always find each other.  I also noted that everyone is accepted.  No matter what is going on in someone's life or being, that person will find love among our family members.  That's an amazing bond. 

After four full days, I returned to my life as a stay at home mom. I remain heart broken over the passing of my uncle but time will heal that or at least patch it.  I am still tired and in pain, but maybe that is just something I need to learn how to manage. In any case, when I descended on the escalator, my children were holding a huge homemade "welcome home mom" sign.  I melted. I was home. 

A small crowd watched my reaction. Apparently Andrew and the children waited a while for me to arrive. A mom of seven said, "that is one of the best gifts you could ever receive."   She was right.