Our first child to have surgery was Lane Elizabeth. On May 2, 2011, I took her to Pierce Street Day Surgery Center to have tubes put in her ears. Though rationally I knew it was a procedure that had little risks, my anxiety still ran high. The thought of anesthesia and my little girl was terrifying.
Lane and I arrived alone at 7:30. Each step toward the door made me reflect on what I was putting her through and I had to continue toward the door alone with her, confident that we made the right decision. The receptionist was wonderful and welcoming. She handed Lane a Princess coloring book, crayons, and a shirt. I got a coupon for a free bagel and cream cheese.
We were escorted to Suite 11. This is where we sat while the pre-op nurse, anesthesiologist, and post-op nurse came in to talk to me. It was well over an hour before Laney was given versed.
Lane spit out most of the first dose but the nurse was willing to give her some more. I wish Andrew had been there to experience her loopy behavior. She kissed me and insisted on coloring her doll. She was a little floppy and tough to hold. I wish she could have talked because I have a feeling it would have been amusing.
I know the versed is for the child but there was a definite advantage for the parent as well. Her behavior kept my mind off the fact that she would have surgery soon.
A little before 9 am, the nurse took Lane from me. Lane cried but didn't protest as much as usual. I had to hold back my anxiety. It takes a lot for me to trust someone else with my baby. I wanted to carry her back and comfort her, not hand her to a complete stranger.
Instead I held my head high and walked down the hallway to get my free bagel. I had been warned that the procedure is fast and I wouldn't have much time to eat. I grabbed my food and free coffee (so much for the 20 year reunion diet lately!!) and sat at a table alone. This is when I hate being alone. I feel vulnerable and lonely during these periods of my life. Other people were surrounded by loved ones and I sat alone but the bagel kept me company. (I know, get over the pit party already!)
I was able to finish my food before the nurse called me to the conference room. I have to admit, I was comforted by the stories of friends who had children go through the same thing - it was a short procedure, there were few risks, etc... but it's still tough to know that your child will have a little mask placed over their mouth and nose to go to sleep. In fact, that vision paralyzes me. I should have never googled bilateral myringotomy. Parents should never know that their baby's ear drums will be cut. It doesn't matter how small the incision is - it's still an incision!
I met the doctor in the conference room, where I was told that Lane did great but did not have any fluid in her ears. This could be indicative of a true hearing loss since her ear drums are not responding the way they are supposed to - swell, we did a surgery for almost nothing. We will need to do more testing in a month and if she fails that, we will go to Omaha for the sedated ABR. Gabriel had the same test when he was 2 so at least I know what to expect with that test.
It will be at that point that we will know if she is hearing impaired or not - perhaps she has selective hearing or maybe a speech delay? The doctor also mentioned that we should keep autism in mind. It was at that point that I wanted to sob. At this slice in time, to her therapists and home teacher, Laney doesn't seem to be on the spectrum. Unfortunately, we were told the same things with Gabriel at this age so we will have to see what happens in the next slice of time.
